i don’t understand how people can be so irrational sometimes. how we let our emotions get the best of us… to the point where we are hurting the people we claim to love. we do love them right? even though we don’t always show it? sometimes i am not so sure. i think that love is self less. love is giving, and it is patient. but how easy is it for us to forget this concept?
very easy, I’m afraid. It’s true that we treat the ones we love, the worst sometimes. maybe because we know that we can get away with it.
it’s easy to take the “easy way out” sometimes. but we must learn to stick through it. be kind and be patient, and be understanding. pick and choose your battles, because there will be many obstacles in life. you can be as happy as you WANT to be. or you can be as sad as you LET yourself be…
don’t let life overwhelm you… just love. always LOVE.
well, it’s been almost a whole year since i have visited this little spot. i have missed writing. i love blogging, and i love the amazing women i have met through it. but i miss the confidentiality feeling of my tumblr. feeling like i can just write down all my thoughts, as if no one in the world will read them except me.
things in life have been great.
major changes have taken place, and i believe all for the better. if i look back one year, i think i have moved forward and only backwards a little bit. but isn’t that the common dance in life we all play along to? i am okay with how things have turned out so far.
i am even more excited to see what is waiting around the corner.
in short, i am back.
i have missed my tumblr, and through andy’s advice and counseling and love, i have come to realize that i am a woman who shares her life. i was born to share my heart with this world. it’s what makes me the happiest, and i am not going to stop.
hello world, i love you.
every once in a while you get exactly what you want. you get exactly what you wished for even though you really didnt believe wishes came true anymore. thats how i feel right now. ive been dancing around my life since last friday. im SO happy. all the way down to my toes. so i just wanted to take this moment to THANK THANK THANK God for blessing my life. my soul is singing. my heart is skipping. and my head is clear.
that being said, i STILL cant stop shopping. so ive come up with a plan. liz and i are working on it together, and i cant wait to begin. itll be a nice little challenge for me <3
im still on my journey back to the heart of God. and i feel more alive than i ever have before. coming back is scary. all the time, i feel like im still standing on the edge. that any moment i could lose what ive been fighting for. but then i remember that God loves me no matter what. and it makes everything all better.
i wont be blogging here much longer. im hoping to get my blogsite up and running soon. meow.
i have a shopping problem. its so out of control. i dont even have room in my closet anymore.
ps; my other open tab is urban outfitters checkout. ugh.
after a week off im back. i feel so refreshed. i woke up for the first time in 6 days without any pain. i plan on driving my car home tonight. its going to be nice. the first time in over a week <3 i had a wonderful weekend. it actually felt like a weekend. having friday night off was amazing. i just lounged around my beautiful home hanging out with some people that i love. holly and i grabbed pronto. i was a huge fan. i spent lots of time with dylan. i fall in love with that little boy more and more every day. i cant wait to have a child of my own someday. i never thought that i would feel that way. its exciting. i missed church on sunday, but its okay. im going with the girls tonight. its nice to have found a church that i feel could be a possible home. i also attended two bbqs! i didnt really get to eat anything. my jaw was still pretty sore and the meat was tough. but it was still nice to be out in the sun. i really wanted to be in a bathing suit but i just couldnt bring myself to jump in a pool yet. its still a little too cold. sunday night jessica finally cut my hair. yay. its getting so long. i cant wait to see where its at by christmas time! it was so nice to see justin too. i really wanted to spend my sunday night at home in bed but when a best friend asks you to come over, you go over. and i was so happy to. he always brings smile and laughter into my life.
all in all there are so many things that im excited about. this summer is going to be amazing. i have my trip to nashville, a visit from my love heather, a trip to wine country with chris, spirit west coast in montery, hume lake in august with holly, house boat time (maybe), and lots and lots of sun bathing, laughter, tears, and joy. im ready to fall in love with life the next few months <3 meow
XOXO-
gg
i love the spring time. i love when the sun is out shining. i love the way that it makes me feel, and how alive the earth seems to be. they all make me realize how amazing God is. how beautiful his paintbrush must have been.
i had an amazing weekend. i relaxed, i slept in a little bit. i worked a winemaker’s dinenr at one of my favorite vineyards. i went to church and i fell even more in love with it. i took jessica out to dinner for her birthday, and my boss called me with some pretty great news. life is SO good right now. sure it’s throwing me some curves, but i have faith that if i go to God for everything, he will fullfill all of my heart’s desires. and he has already started.
amen <3
my dreams have been keeping me awake. if that makes any sense at all. i wake up and i cant forget them. im not getting the rest that i need. its like my head isnt shutting off. some of the dreams are good. and some of them are bad. either way theyre always about the same thing. how do you know when its right? when its time? is it the kind of thing where you just one day wake up and its gone? or am i going to keep holding on? will i ever let go? of course i will. im just being dramatic i think. i constantly trick my head into believing my heart. when in reality, i dont believe in any of it. someone asked me a question last night and it made me want to cry. because my answer was such a silly reply. its a lie ive told myself for the past two years. the reality isnt something im comfortable with. people tell you to have faith. to keep going. but im not buying it. i have faith in something else. in Jesus and thats about it. the rest is just an inevitable disappointment.
on a happier note, i think i am moving in the right direction. im kind of straddling the line. not completely prepared to tiptoe over it. but i feel it. its close. for the first time last night, i forgot. lost in a moment that i actually wanted to be a part of. im waiting to figure out what it all means.
<3
ive had a lot on my mind lately. for the first time in my life i find myself keeping quiet about all my thoughts. its almost as if im afraid to say or do anything. im not sure how that happened. i wake up every morning and i can tell ive been restless. something is different. i almost feel as if im standing on the edge. its like waiting for the other shoe to drop. im waiting for the pain to come, becuase i know it will. im running from it. slowly its creeping up on me. i just need to start making more time for myself. i need to read more. and i need to center myself.
every time i think im closer to the heart
of what it means to know just who i am
i think ive finally found a better place to start
no one ever seems to understand
i need to try to get to where you are
could it be, youre not that far?
youre the voice i hear inside my heart, the reason that im singing
i need to find you. i gotta find you.
youre the missing piece i need, the song inside of me
i need to find you. i gotta find you.
![miss-stella:
kari-shma:
[6/52] kissing feet (via MEGA meesh)
Happiness](http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l0nwg8J8Bd1qzpe8uo1_400.jpg)
