16th
you be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground, ill be the wings that keep your heart in the clouds
my dreams have been keeping me awake. if that makes any sense at all. i wake up and i cant forget them. im not getting the rest that i need. its like my head isnt shutting off. some of the dreams are good. and some of them are bad. either way theyre always about the same thing. how do you know when its right? when its time? is it the kind of thing where you just one day wake up and its gone? or am i going to keep holding on? will i ever let go? of course i will. im just being dramatic i think. i constantly trick my head into believing my heart. when in reality, i dont believe in any of it. someone asked me a question last night and it made me want to cry. because my answer was such a silly reply. its a lie ive told myself for the past two years. the reality isnt something im comfortable with. people tell you to have faith. to keep going. but im not buying it. i have faith in something else. in Jesus and thats about it. the rest is just an inevitable disappointment.
on a happier note, i think i am moving in the right direction. im kind of straddling the line. not completely prepared to tiptoe over it. but i feel it. its close. for the first time last night, i forgot. lost in a moment that i actually wanted to be a part of. im waiting to figure out what it all means.
<3
